


No, Universe

by FireGire96



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort/Angst, Corrupted Pink Diamond, Corrupted Steven Universe, Eventual Romance, F/F, Family Drama, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Murder-Suicide, Near Death Experiences, Psychological Drama, Suggestive Themes, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23270131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireGire96/pseuds/FireGire96
Summary: Rose Quartz was suppose to be in love with a sweet human being and give birth to a healthy child. So why was she given a son who bears his parents' scars and a lover who disappeared? (AU where Greg has died instead of Rose.)
Relationships: Amethyst/Jasper (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond's Pearl/Spinel (Steven Universe), Referenced Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	1. Your Sin

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This is one of the darkest fanfics I have ever made and possibly one of the darkest Steven Universe fanfics as well. This fanfic will involve suicidal thoughts/attempts, major death and suggestive themes. If you are easily triggered to such topics, then I highly suggest skipping out on this fanfiction. I hope you all enjoy...

“So, how exactly is a mother supposed to be like,” A female voice called out through the darkness that clouded the individual beside her.

At her angelic tone, the person’s eyes opened to the glaring sight of the sun beaming onto the both of them and the golden sea they laid upon. His body slowly raised upwards, meeting with beautiful black eyes that stared back into his own. However, his gaze quickly went down to her nicely plump lips that separated gracefully to reveal a shy toothy grin. Breathing hit his left cheek lightly while examining the beach as the cries of seagulls invaded his eardrums. They would always wonder around, but would always end up on his lover.

He loved everything about the pink shaded woman. He loved the sight of her curly long cotton candy hair, her perfect pale skin, and though some would see her as off, he did like her rose quartz gem located on her stomach. She was completely flawless in the smaller human’s eyes. Eventually, a chuckle escaped nervously for the male to answer his lover’s question softly, “Well, of course a mother would take care of their kid and love them. You got the loving down great! Now we just need to wait for the little guy to show up!”

“Guy,” She questioned with a raised eyebrow. “You think the baby will be a boy?”

“Yeah,” The male cheerfully responded while beginning to gently place a hand onto his love’s curvy stomach, feeling the life inside of her resting peacefully. “I just have a hunch that it’ll be a boy! T-Then again! I’m okay if it’s a girl instead. It doesn’t change that it’s our little bundle of joy.”

“Greg,” The pink haired female addressed softly as her dark eyes shifted down to the cold ground below them. “What if the… What if the baby doesn’t like me? Or something goes wrong and they. End up like me…”

“What’s wrong if they end up like you?” Greg asked carefully, a hint of fear hidden in his timid voice as he spoke. Both of the parents’ eyes were connected for what felt like an eternity until the woman answered with a crooked smile, “You know? W-What if they break things or don’t understand Earth like we do?... I’m sorry. But you said it yourself. This has never happened before. And I’m kind of scared of what could happen…” “Hey.”

Greg’s hand began to shift downwards from his love’s stomach towards her hand in a loving manner. She could feel the warmth of his flesh upon her own cold one, shivering at the touch as her crooked smile began to waver into a broken figure. Her partner could tell something was wrong with her, and he knew that she knew he was going to do what he did best; Try to cheer her up. Try to make her happy. Try to make her normal when she wasn’t even a human being. “I promise you, Rose. Nothing bad is going to happen to your or the child.”

“Or you?”

“Or me… Everything will be okay, I promise you that. So don’t worry about anything…” In order to ease her, Greg began to plant his lips onto Rose’s slowly. Their tender kiss had become one filled with passion and genuine love. It was as if they could tell that right here, right now, was the perfect moment to display their compassion to their unborn child, who could hopefully feel the solicitude between them. Everything had to be okay. They needed to have a future together. They just had to.

* * *

Screams filled the temple as Rose held Garnet and Pearl’s hands ferociously. The agony had found itself growing worse along with her grip, feeling slightly her life source depleting. It was odd. For some odd reason, it felt like the baby was trying to get a hold of the older woman’s gem for dear life. However, she refused to give up something so precious like her soul. She expected this ‘labor’ to be something that had lack pain and suffering. So why did this hurt more than anything in the universe? Her vision began to deplete as her shaky irises landed onto the figures of her friends. There was mumbling between them. Or talking. She could barely tell with the buzzing that invaded her eardrums, abusing their power to block all the sounds around her. The only source of sense she could focus on now was her sense of sight, which wasn’t that strong either.

The gems before her began to become big blurs of light and darkness in the dim area around her. Were they disappearing? Was she beginning to poof during labor? Or was the child beginning to kill her? It was hard to make out. Surges of throbbing started to emerge from her lower body with her lower half taking it all in. This was horrible. She would be gone at any second. She felt drops of water spill gracefully onto her skin. Not that she was too conscious enough to care about the feeling to begin with. Her own held tears were on her mind right now.

Was this revenge? Revenge from the diamonds? For the horrible things she has done? For the skeletons locked in her closet? If so, this was pretty good for an act of torture. If she was crying out as loud as she could and dripping in sweat and blood, that means their job was done. That she needed to give up. To let this baby go... 

But that was the last thing she would do.

Rose grunted hard, pushing as long as she could before she could poof or crack in any way and ruin it all. She almost felt sorry for the baby beginning to fall in love with her pure form. She wished she could just disappear and leave her gem as a gift for them… But she had a future! A future where them, their mother and their father would live happily together. Where they would love them together. Where her child would hold the whole universe in the palm of her hand! So she let out one more scream. One more push. One more attempt to free her unborn with all her might…

… Success…

The gems were greeted with the soft cries of a newborn baby. The cries of a young boy. Greg was right about their child being a guy. Well, in this case, a boy. Even though she wasn’t in the state to stay up, she wanted to experience this moment. She wanted to hold her baby. So she waited for the blurred balls to give her her creation, which took a little longer than usual. Seconds of waiting became minutes to the horror of the pink haired female. Eventually a small ball of fuzz was handed to Rose aggressively for her to examine carefully as everything started to become black. Gasps were heard and screams from her friends started to become eternal. With her strength depleted, all she could do was listen and stare into the baby boy’s blank cold eyes.

“What will we do?! What do we tell her?!”

“Calm down! We don’t want to scare Rose or the child!”

“Amethyst, tell us everything! And I mean everything!”

“I-I don’t know what happened! I just got there and there were all these lights and cars and-. Ahh! What do we do!?! What can I do!?!”

The pink haired female wanted to comfort the crystal gems. And she definitely wanted to comfort her now crying child. Her child. Who had stopped crying. Or speaking at all… But she couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t feel or see anything anymore. The screams got louder along with the gasps and crying. The gem began to panic as the words flooded her head. What was going on? What happened? Where was Greg in all of this!? Someone needed to tell her something, anything! She just wanted this punishment to end already! Little did she know that this was just the beginning of it all.

From this day forward, Rose Quartz, mother of Steven Universe and lover of Greg Universe, would watch her beautiful sanctuary known as Earth become the starting point of her personal hell…


	2. The Monthly Check Up

Rose had found herself waking up in a cold sweat inside her room. Usually it was so bright, full of color and tranquility, or dimmed to take on the effect of silent pleasure. However, it was different this time. At least, it would be considered different to anyone except herself. The first shade of color she was met with was rosewood, accompanied by cerise. If that wasn't enough, her face was hit with droplets of what she called "Nature's Tears" that began to flood her personal sanctuary at the speed of a race car. She didn't know why but it sort of felt like she was stuck in time as the water above started to stain her dress, hair and face. It was as if her and her room had shared the same emotional state naturally for once rather than artificially through her mind's bidding.

They were both caught in a wave of despair.

This was the first time the room had become a weather war-zone, whereas this was the one of many times the pink gem experienced depression. It was all because she had another dream about him. The one where she would take in every feature of his face and his beautiful long brown hair. Where their eyes would connect and tell a nonverbal story to one another unconsciously. She really hated that dream more than anything. Then again, this was fine…

The gem began to get up from the fluffy floor below her to explore her little world. The rain started to let up, causing the cerise and rosewood to become a blush and strawberry lemonade shade of pink. It was perfect. Just like the outside version of it's owner. Upon contact with the rose quartz in her navel, the pink haired female was able to open a light door before her to enter without hesitance to enter another world; Earth.

"Mom," A young male voice called out to her right softly with aversion. Just at the sound of the individual was enough to make the other's heart flutter slightly, forcing a modest smile onto her face. "Is that you?"

"That it is, my sunshine," She responded quietly with her son's nickname as she trailed through the beach house towards a small set of stairs. The section of temple was the cleanest to the pink gem. She enjoyed the fact that everything was intact and mainly kept to itself due to the lack of usage. Now as for the upper level, that was a totally different story for her and her family.

After a trip through a dozen steps laid Rose's source of life; Steven Quartz Universe, her beloved son. As they immediately made eye contact, it was as if both of their day had become ten times better. She couldn't lie, the mother would admit that sometimes seeing his face was a torture in itself, but today wasn't one of those days. Instead of seeing a reminder of her lover, she just saw the embodiment of their compassion.

And the result was a young scruffy brown hair boy who had his father's eyes, face and personality. As for what he possessed from his mother? She was guessing it was his compassion, love and optimistic point of view. At least, that's what he possessed from a version of her that has been slightly grown out of.

"There's the light of my life," Rose squealed lightly as she maneuvered around the land mines that were Steven's belongings. She was greeted with the open arms of the human that she instantly propped down to deliver a heartwarming hug. A light and careful heartwarming hug. "Did you sleep well?" The answer given was a light nod and a goofy grin by the woman's child.

"I definitely did after I watched the latest episode of Lonely Blade," He then answered verbally. "It was so awesome! I wish you were here to watch it with me."

"You watched Lonely Blade last night? Doesn't that show come on at eleven at night," Rose questioned, displaying a small hint of concern in her voice. "Nevermind."

"Where's Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl? On another mission?" That question caused Rose to glance below at the warp pad, which was empty and probably cold. She didn't know where the gems were herself. The last time she came into contact with them yesterday was when they were finished with another mission to eliminate a rogue gem. No words were exchanged except for "Goodnight" and "See You Tomorrow".

"They're probably asleep," Steven's mother responded casually, only to meet the sad gaze of her child. She could feel the argument of who could and couldn't go on gem hunts coming on. And she was not ready for it again. Not for the yelling and regretful comments. So she gracefully took her hand to cup the human's face and lift it up thoroughly. "But you need to be wide awake. You know what day it is, sunshine. Monthly check-up." Steven groaned as he began to try and shift out of the bed slowly. "Nah ah ah, young man. I don't want to hear any moans or groans. If you go, you know what I'll get you right~?"

"A cookie cat?!"

"A cookie cat." The promise of his favorite treat was enough to make Steven start to get up faster, even if him and Rose knew that was a big mistake. As he jumped and cheered to the ceiling as if it was a person, the predictable happened. The young brown haired boy nearly tripped on one of his essentials and almost plummeted to the ground, only for his mother to catch him at the speed of light and hold him close for dear life.

The room went silent. The new found tension in the air could be cut with a sword due to the thickness. All that could be felt between the two beings were their heartbeats. One beat at the speed of sound while the other moved at the pace of a calm snail. All that was heard was small beeps. The pink gem really hated this predicament… She eventually helped a saddened Steven get back onto his feet, who didn't dare to make eye contact with his mother. He already knew what would happen if he did. "How about we get ready and go get this check up over with, okay?"

"Yes ma'am. Sorry." That was all the human could reply with before he safely navigated to his clothing dresser. They both hated monthly check ups. They hated being told what they already know and the fear of the worse. But Rose Quartz knew that she hated something more than those check ups and the daily nightmares combined. She hated herself. And there was only one main reason why…

Because she had to watch Steven be the subject of life support.

* * *

Rose knew Steven hated going to the hospital. So did she.

She knew he didn't like getting on the scale to admit the fact he was lighter than a feather. Nor did he enjoy being in a hospital gown or being pricked with needles just to take these doses of Epinephrine and a ton of Ibuprofen. It would serve to keep him away from death's door, but also was very annoying to his skin. The poking irritated him so much that sometimes he would be held down just to take it all in. But today was going to be relaxing and normal if he wanted his cookie cats later. At least he could take in the agony like a big boy, unlike his mother, who hated the hospital for a more. Personal reason.

Luckily she didn't hate their monthly doctor; Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran. She was the best doctor in Beach City after all. Her and the pink haired gem had a past with one another structured like a street full of potholes. One minute they were caught arguing, pulling at each other's throats and hair. The other, they would be found delivering sweet compliments on the other's usage of their occupation due to their guidance.

The two women remember the times where they would meet and have conversations about anatomy, Steven, gems and human activity. However, after the older son was conceived, the times they could talk was during these bittersweet monthly check ups. Who knows? Maybe it was for the best in the females' eyes. Or the worse, but they didn't bother to care. These days, the source of their attention would be the brown haired child's life and how long he might have.

Rose watched Dr. Maheswaran checked her son's heart stethoscope after checking his reflexes along with his mouth. So far there was no sight of sorrow from Steven nor resistance from the procedure. Everything was the same for the past eight months; Steven was for the most part, as healthy as he could be. "Okay," his doctor whispered with a genuine smile. "You're all good, Steven! Everything seems to be in order. I think all I can do now is ask, of course, have you been feeling any pain or weird sensations since our last meeting?"

"Nope," The human boy answered cheerfully, swinging his legs back and forth as he sat before the two smiling women. "I wonder why you keep asking me that?"

"Oh, it's just protocol. If I don't ask, then I might regret it. So, for being a good boy and cooperating with me, you can have a little gift. You like lollipops?" With the following question, the boy glanced up to his mother to seek approval. Through the gentle gaze of her black eyes and light nod of her head, the child was able to respond fondly to her question. In a few seconds, Steven was met with a round red lollipop that he chose not to eat just yet. "Okay, Steven. Why don't you get dressed so I can check up on your mother. Connie's outside if you want to go play with her."

"Really? Okay," Steven nearly yelled before jumping from the small hospital bed to dash to his friend for some fun!... Upon the hearing of metal collapsing into another, a heavy sigh escaped the doctor's mouth before she signaled the boy's mother to sit down. Silence clouded the air for what felt like an eternity until Rose felt metal touch her gem suddenly. No warnings. No remorse. Just getting the job over with.

Usually Dr. Maheswaran would hear a distinctively long ringing noise in the gem's life source. But just like any other time, all she heard was ringing beeps similar to a vital signs monitor. This was normal, however, not okay at all. It's been this way ever since she's given birth to her sunshine…

Shaking her head, Maheswaran questioned, "Rose, have you been having any sensations lately since your last 'malfunction'?"

"Not at all," The pink gem answered honestly in a calm manner. "Sometimes I would get some mood swings or feel intense pain in my stomach, but no. I've been okay for the most part."

"Okay. And have you found the missing piece of your gem yet?"

"... No," Rose responded with a hint of anger in her usually angelic voice. "I've honestly given up after all these years on finding it. Doesn't matter anyway. I'm still here, aren't I?" Silence returned before being relinquished by her doctor once again,

"Very… I'll give you some painkillers to help relax the pain and I want you to take two a day twelve hours apart… The anniversary is coming up, isn't it?" Just as she strolled to her cabinets to get the pills, she immediately regretted asking such a disturbing question. She knew how touchy the topic was for the both of them, especially her. She could feel the sinister scowl accompanied by the internal growl through gritted teeth. Out of nowhere, she watched as big pinkish pale arms circled around her body to snatch the pills in her right hand.

"Yes it is. I'll be seeing you later, Maheswaran." That was the last words exchanged between the two for this month before the angered gem left the room, leaving her doctor in a horrific state of fear. She probably should've kept her mouth shut…

After saying goodbye to one another, Steven was taken by his mother outside the hospital. As they walked away, Steven's hum was enough to make Rose avert her eyes downward to the young happy boy to shift to his hamburger backpack. It always broke her heart how that cute fake food luggage was actually home to a demon that was a portable oxygen tank. Luckily Steven didn't have a use for it now, but it made all the moments of him collapsing for air come back to her.

But the young boy's eyes served to not only bring her back to reality, but push her mind back to another time of her life. Back to the time she shared with. Him. All she could see was him…

"Wouldn't be cool if we had a pet to ride on around town," The human blurted out playfully, causing his mother to retreat to her facade through a loving chuckle.

"Are you just saying that because we don't have a car and have to walk all the way here," She asked, earning a cute nod from him. "Well, sunshine, if it makes you feel any better, I did use to have a pet lion."

"Really?!"

"Really."

"W-W-Where is it," Steven questioned through stutters of excitement. "Is the lion still around?!" The questions were enough to make the lion's owner stop gradually in thought. It was a good question. Where did her lion go? Was it even still alive? It was kind of bothering her to say the least. She didn't know what hurt most; That she didn't have the proper answers or that this creature was just one in many things she has forgotten about? After a while, she sighed heavily, bent down to the boy's level and answered,

"I'll tell you what. After we get some cookie cats, I'll go look for him for you. Then when I come back, we can go ride it around Beach City and have some fun."

"You promise," The young boy asked as he raised up a pinkie that was immediately met with a bigger one.

"I promise, my sunshine… Now let's go get some cookie cats!" The two began to continue strolling away from the hospital and towards one of Steven's favorite stops. It was peaceful. Quiet. Loving… To him. But to the pink gem? It was painful. She was still weak to keep on a smile or facade for even five minutes. Her emotional pain could be felt by any stranger and any enemy or ally. It didn't matter though… She just hoped that her son wasn't able to comprehend the pain, let alone acknowledge it. That's all that concerned her; The fact that her misery was concealed and her son was healthy.

Because even if she hates to admit it, he's all she has...


End file.
